That particular scent that exudes from your body, the way your voice sound as you speak to me in bed at night, or how you kiss my hands in the public with your supple lips all make me palpate like three cups of Starbucks Venti Americano. But even so, my love towards you is a lot, but not enough; my love towards you is profound, but incomplete. And like my love, I know your love for me is fragmented, chipped, and washed away from the years of reality, years of failed love, and years of battle with life.
No matter how much I love you or you love me, our love will never be a hundred percent. And perhaps that is why sometimes we feel agony, despair, and loneliness in midst of such passion and desire. Because you and I are humans – we are at mercy of each other’s incomplete love. Despite that our cupid’s arrow are aligned in absolute perfection, our love 2% lacking, makes us wonder, from time to time, if we’re worthy of each other.
This imperfect love we have, is a predicament to our tearful nights, disheartening comments, and lonely, extremely lonely silences. Knowing this shrinks my guts and makes me stay wide- awake at night. Sometimes I just want to run away because this softened heart won’t stand a chance at even the slightest stab.
But I’ll love you because I choose to. I will love you everyday because despite your selfishness, I feel safe between your arms. I will work hard in loving you. Your incomplete love will sometimes leave me confused and abandoned, but I will endure for you – the struggles, the fights, the cold wars, and brutal silences. I will not flee when we disagree or lust in a stranger’s bed when I feel like your love for me has diminished. I will fight for the beauty our heart felt because I believe in the strength of us.
So I hope that when my love for you, my incomplete love for you, one day pushes you into a darker place – into a place that you can’t bear to stand – that you will still fight for me. Even if it’s against your logic, against your values, and against your ego – I hope you will fight for this raw, rare love we have. I hope that even in our worse, nastiest moments, you will choose to love me with your incomplete love.